It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But what do you do if you’ve endured a lot of family trauma, and you’ve already given up your precious vacation days to spend time with family? Here are my top three pieces of advice.
1. It won’t last forever. When you’re reuniting with a family member or members who have hurt you badly, you must remember that the holiday period ends eventually.
2. You’re not a kid anymore. You’re a grown ass adult. You have agency. If you want to leave a Christmas dinner early, go to bed before a fight break out, or bail on another round of drinks, you can.
3. Your family does not have emotional power over you (and they never did). Nasty comments, passive aggressive remarks and explicit insults cannot control you anymore. You do not live with these people. You have a life. Abuse is an attempt to control a person, and you’re not going to hand over control to anyone abuses you.