To you, lovely reader, as you navigate the pain of your holiday season.
I’m sorry that the holiday season is hurting you right now.
More specifically, I’m sorry that someone is hurting you during this holiday season.
Or perhaps you’re missing a loved one terribly: There’s an empty chair at the table.
I understand how you’re feeling, because it’s happening to me too.
But here’s the thing: there are days beyond this.
Holidays come and go, and you don’t need to put yourself in this position next year. That might be controversial, but this is the advice I’m handing out this year wrapped in virtual recycled wrapping paper:
If going home makes you hurt, don’t go home.
If you’re saying, but I have to go home for the holidays, here’s another suggestion: don’t go home for longer than is necessary.
There’s a misconception out there that if you don’t spend a certain amount of time with your family, you’re a bad son/daughter/niece/nephew/cousin/grandchild.
I’m calling B.S. on that right now.
It’s important in life to show up, to face hard situations head on and accept responsibility.
But you don’t have to do it at the detriment of your mental health.
If you’ve been abused by someone in your family – living or dead – you are under no obligation to spend any time with them, period.
Our relationships with our family birth our sense of self, self esteem, and the way we instinctively approach all human relationships.
Challenge what you’ve been taught and walk away calmly when things get toxic.
There are days beyond the holiday season.
But you don’t have to repeat the days you’re in now to “be good.”
Love,
L. x